FamousFavoriteAuthorCrush

Doodoodoo.

I have a few shows coming up... I hung out w Paul, super-rich zillionaire w/o a real address and went swimming in the ocean, and he gave me more clothes, he has them around the house because his ex is like in charge of some big fashion company, and then we went to dinner at that awesome place again, and it was with these two other couples, and I was sitting next to this one whose name is W----, and we were thoroughly enjoying each other... It was one of those immediate things where you're like UM I'm just going to avoid eye contact and conversation with this person, for the sake of everyone involved, but then after a little bit the need to do that sort of dissolves, everyone's engaged in conversation and so you start talking and the little spark flies... I mean it was just stupid things at first like similar OCD habits, crude-ish eccentric sense of humor and wordplay, then, preferences, timing, and pretty soon you're only talking to one another and overlaughing and then you notice it and reign it in and return to deliberately only looking at everyone else... Like, you know when someone just makes you like, puts you in rare form? I always have that when I'm really attracted to someone-- unless there's some GLARING ISSUE and I find myself having to SIT THERE AND PROFESS MY FEELINGS under their controlled glaring unreciprocal STARE-- it makes me extra witty, flirty, pulling shit out my ass I didn't even know was up there............

So he's mentioning being a writer every now and then, and then telling this story about going to Nevada to do this article about hookers and I realized: he's W----- A--------, like really famous and kinda favorite authorcrush... three of his books were made into movies and one by this director who's a friend of Paul's, which was the one I saw. It was good, apparently. It won Oscars and shit. But I saw it the day I got off a plane and fell asleep. Haha. But I read all the books, like I know the backstories, and how they sold, and stuff which I didn't say, well of course, I didn't say anything about anything, but ohgod, they're SO GOOD, and sexy, and I mean, actually, fucking genius, more so than I think is like, realized, I mean, who the fuck am I to say something like that, I just mean, I don't know I don't know I thought they like have these juicy kinda characters and plotlines that could seem like, but they feel true, and like, I could tell that was really his life, it never seemed exaggerated or exploited or even anything just like that was his experience and almost probably toned down not to seem sensational, edited, and somehow, through all of it, this weird creepy modern philosophy comes through... I mean... I guess they are considered that good, because obviously these really big people made these movies, but, anyway, what the dick do I know. He's sexy. Real sexy. That's what.

His girlfriend started seeming uncomfortable but like he was just really cracking me up, and I was just returning it, and it was only the six of us at the table, and everyone was talking and enjoying it... So... When we were all saying good-bye me and WA did not even look at each other, when everyone else was like hugging and stuff, same as with Elliott. Paul has some really neat friends. Shortly after we got to dinner we went for a cigarette and no one else smoked, in fact three out of the four others had just quit like two weeks ago (including WA) and we were outside and he was like, So you like W----? And I was just like, Yeah! What did he write again?? Just to confirm, and it was, and I was like Oh right right yeah... Oh, yeah, he's hilarious... Which I said about Elliott too. It's true. They are, and, I laugh at everything, but I mean, like, by the end of the dinner, I was really laughing at EVERYTHING W was saying, like, not just the funny things, and not just giggle, but like full on laugh, and then giggle, and then giggles still trickling out until the next full on laugh.

So, now I'm going to be thinking about this. And. I think... I'm going to keep going out with Paul. I just don't give a damn. I don't have to be in hot sweat love with who I go out with. Fuck it. I'm going to go swimming in that fucking paradise ocean, and to amazing restaurants, and I do like Paul, and hang with Elliott G and WA and DTB and all these cool awesome people and be given clothes and things and ENJOY my ass a little, and then move in up there, and WA and his lady (who is kinda/very-at-first-glance but then too insecure to remain-pretty and really young, I mean, like, well, probably five years older than me... I'm not sure how old he is... I'm gonna wiki... 47...) will take this place next door in the paradise and I'll go knock on their door when he's home alone and bring over my writing and like, an apple pie I bought down the street, and...

I've no fucking morals left. None.