Into It.

Again, I love my job.

Sometimes it feels like the only thing I can do well.

I went to this crazy taxidermy demonstration with Emily- she's always on some weird shit like that- and I was debating on going to work, because, well, the money wouldn't hurt, and getting out of the house wouldn't hurt, and sitting at home writing Julian e-mails on Saturday night probably would hurt somebody. But it was like ten to eight and I was still at the taxidermy thing up the straight getting a little antsy and a little nauseous, and Vinnie called me and said, "Casper!"- his new epithet for me, since I disappear all the time, hah- so I said, "Boo." So he laughed and then told me he would love it if I came in tonight if I needed to etc, so how could I say no. And I came in and didn't even go into the dressing room or talk to any girls and sat down and then went onstage and the cash just FLOWED its way onto me all night. I made up my large, large, large outstanding balance to J and then went home.

Man. If I made that much every night and worked like, three times a WEEK... I'd be flowing in it. Like... FLOWING in excess cash. Hahaha. But I feel like it doesn't work that way. Like the more you go in the less you make. For some reason. Just a matter of being over-it I guess.

But I was not over-it last night.

I was into it.

I love dancing. I love spinning. And twirling. And splits. And climbing up and hanging upside down and mouthing all the lyrics to all my songs and scooping up the dollars and throwing them over my head during the chorus.

And I love the mindblown dudes saying "I am here for joo, joo aarre so byoooteefull, what do joo need?"

And saying:

"Hmmm, a hundred? One of those twenties. Two, actually. And another beverage. Thanks much."

Scarlet-O's Fuck-Everything, Rainy-Day Set List:

1. Bone Machine- Pixies

2. Empire State of Mind- Jay-Z

3. On the Road Again- Bob Seger

4. Rock Me Baby- B.B. King

5. Creep- Radiohead

maybe I should figure out some other employment.

it's so bad in here, so dead, no money, girls beinf mean, and depressing as all get-out

Guess Who's Still Up?

That's right, me. Me, bitches.

This is dumbfounding. I'd have to get up shortly before work to get a good [night's] sleep at this point. And I was passing out at the diner. It's the damn booze. I don't get drunk, I don't ACTUALLY ever pass out, just CNS-depressed enough so that I can't sleep when it wears off. What a bitch, that.

I just had an hour-and-a-half long sexual fantasy about Julian. I am, okay, pretty SF at this point. If he touched me to any degree I would probably have an orgasm. OMG, sigh.

I laughed really hard twice yesterday.

1. At the show, there was a singer/guitar-player D00D who just, sucked like Electrolux up in there. I did NOT laugh while he was playing! Though I did hiccup once when he did something musically silly but it came off like an amused, laugh-with... But for the rest of his performance I think I was just staring ahead of me and tearing a beer label to shreds in my lap thinking about losing my gear. The emcee made eye contact with me at one point and I noticed I was visibly unhappy and quickly recomposed. But after the D00D was done he was like, talking to him from the stage, like, "That's original material, Travis? That's cool, man," and I was just like uh-oh giggles might be nigh... but they weren't, but then after Travis D. ooD walks out, the emcee goes, "I think it was great how he was just like I wrote a song, driving down the road, and it was long, and I'm just playin' it," but I mean, it was like really to the tune, and phrasing, of TD's, and I had a major onslaught, and no one else really seemed to even think it was supposed to be funny but the emcee had that evil little faint non-smile some comedians get when they're telling a hilarious, slightly mean joke. Ah, these things translate so badly...

2. At the club tonight, okay, this will translate badly too, because it's another impersonation. God, what translates to writing worse than an impersonation? Nothing, I think! I think this is as bad as a choice as I could have made! But maybe you can imagine... So, it's this girl Asia who's hilarious when she's drunk, if a little mean-hilarious, and is REALLY pretty, like a DOLL-cute, she's black with freckles, which is my FAVORITE, and huge Bambi eyes and round, perfect everything, and long straight black hair, which of course is fake as a $3 bill , but eveything else is real. Anyway, she's like implausibly cute, and she starts going off about Karolina, like "She come up to these men, like, You don't have money? Like, real concerned-like, like, Where's my money? Just like, confused..." And she was doing the Russian accent, and it was so dead on, I was dying, and she kept doing it, elaborating like, "But no, no, she be really curious, like," and she walked up to me again with Karolina's curious look, "You don't have money? And the man said, he don't have money, she be like," and she walks up to me again, this time like cocking her head even more confused, "Where is my money?" And she just KEPT doing it, and it just got funnier everytime, till I'm like laying back on the seats kicking my feet up and down like, "No!!!! Don't do it!!!" And Asia's like, "She be doin' it all night long." And Karolina walks in like "What you bitches are talking about?" and Asia's like, "You, bitch, talkin' bout "Where's my money all night long." And Karolina's like, "Well, tell me, why are you are here, you don't have money?" She's pretty f'in funny too. All the girls are, really, and Asia goes, "All night long." :::giggle:::