Deep Brain Thrombosis

"Well, if it didn't happen, if you didn't take a hit from this recession and were still... making really good money, and coasting, with the commercials... then maybe you'd still feel satisfied... or feel like you felt satisfied... for years... instead of changing what needs to be changed..." I'm saying to C standing outside of the studio in the cold moonlight night.

He leaned back against the whitewashed brick and brought his hand to his chin, as though holding a gun, and pulled the trigger.

"Yeah. Trust me... I just, I just had the same experience... when things just inexplicably stop working out, when you just feel like you lose again and again for no reason, it's, it might be telling you something has to change."

He sighed and put his hands on my shoulders. "Once again, Scarlet, you're a brilliant philosopher... Thank you..."

He's going on vacation tomorrow, and I'm leaving town to go shoot for two weeks almost.

My brain is afog from homework and life and music and changes ahead of me. I want to take my own advice; I'm here at the studio right now but there's someone else here which annoys me cuz I was saying I was coming over for hours, I ran here, and he didn't say anyone was over, and I'm kind of... foggy, and tired, and sickish... I just don't feel good, or social, I just don't feel like sitting here with a bunch of dudes. Ugh.

Gonna put this down for now.