So Bathwater once commented on one of my frantic Julian posts and said that "now [i'll] go on holding his perfect unattainable image as this romantic ideal, and no one will ever be able to live up to the fantasy."
Well B. I think you were right. I've been secretive in this blog largely because I've been busy, with all the stuff I've been working on, just no time or privacy or energy to write, also superstition and not wanting to write about the actual work, cuz it's boring to talk about art, and because some people have found it...
But the thing is. I still have these feelings for J, I've had them intensely, and I realize it is something I'm holding onto that serves some weird purpose but... maybe it's time to let it go, for real.
So. Maybe it's time to let it go for real.
go ahead and say it:
with or without J - whether or not you let it go - (which is soooo easy to say/type but much harder to actually convince yourself to do) I think peeps will still want to know what you are up to. I do not find art boring and will be an attentive audience. However, you cant tease me with talk of a Christmas card and never deliver the details! :)
ReplyDeleteI say it's definitely time to let it go, but I agree with JPO that it's not as easy as just saying it. Be gentle with yourself, and work on it slowly, like writing one thing out per day that you don't like about Julian. Just find ways to move on with your life, because you're right, it's not serving you anymore to hang on to an idealized version of someone (who quite honestly, doesn't exist.)
ReplyDeleteThis is for your freedom and sanity more than it is about people saying that they told you so.
I'm not here to say any such thing. I don't like seeing anyone get hurt. Feeling do fade over time. Keeping a true picture of who he was will help. Remember the bad and the good.
ReplyDeleteWhen I find myself off in one of my day dreams, I don't fail to remember the truth of the situation and that is how they end. That way they seem less sweet.
Next year will bring good things for you, you'll see.