On Balloons-- (Dear Friends:)

Okay, this is just something I've kinda reali3ed. When I've got a pal. Who wants something... or hopes for something... that's probably not gonna happen for a lot of reasons... While I don't ENCOURAGE them full on and hype them up even more, I let 'em enjoy their time in the air, with silliness, and little fantasies, and like "that would be sweet if" and jokes.

UNLESS- they're really totally unaware of the possibility it's not gonna happen, or they're being scammed or bs'd or manipulated by someone. And even then, unless it's like, a SERIOUS situation, I wont make a big deal of it, because when people hear things they don't like, they reject them completely.

EX: My friend Harlan, she used to always talk about these BIG huge galleries she was gonna open, and sell her art, and movies she was gonna make, and this guy she met, that's gonna do this, and that, and the other... and like... at first, I'd be like, "Dude... I dunno about this guy... I mean WHERE did you MEET him? Okay, can I google him? Ok, just as a general, meeting people like that does NOT USUALLY LEAD-" etc, etc, etc.

And it would really bum her out! And she'd feel like crap, and wanna go. And I think it was good for her to hear on some level, coming from someone, occasionally, cu3 she's in this world of BS too like me, but that was NOT necessary. She knows, on some level, it might be BS, and she's learned more so through experience, way more, than she ever could've or would've from my naysaying. Now when she talks about huge plans- well first of all- they're pretty realistic now- but also, if something sounds kinda shaky to me, I'll just be like, Yeah ya never know! and she'll be like, Oh I know, you never know. And she goes on planning and building and inspired.

So. My point is. There's no need to constantly knock somebody off their high-horse. I don't think H would've been any worse off for the fall of these fallen ventures had I just been like "Oh that sounds cool!" instead of bringing her down on something she was gonna try for herself anyway.

I KNOW, ok, I KNOW, ODDS ARE: I FUCKING LOSE. OK?

If you're BORED of hearing me vividly describe Julian's trouser-weave, FINE. Just say so. Don't wait for me to take a breath and then say 'Yeah, Scar, I just don't know, I mean obviously I'm not there so I can't say anything (I'M NOT ASKING YOU FOR ADVICE, ORACLE) but I mean it just seems like it's kinda not going anywhere.'

OKAY? OKAY?

FRIENDS WHO READ THIS? Please. I will STOP yapping about it if you're bored of hearing it. I'm sure you are, all ONE of you who knows about this blog in real life and might read it in a few months. But I'm more than aware of the epic failure likely to come, I think I would benefit a lot more from someone (who, thanks, to those of you that do this!) are just like, sweet, I'm on for the ride! And seem to share my excitements, and the good things, because THIS IS HOW I FEEL, and its not gonna just change any time soon. If it hasn't by now, I can't just make it. So instead being miserable the entire time, and feeling like a loser, and being reminded that I'm just going to be rejected, that this person doesn't want me, that I'm just seeing things... like... SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!! OK? I FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT. GIVE ME A BREAK. LET ME ENJOY MY FANTASY. IT'S WHAT I HAVE IN LIFE.

I need you guys. I am very very alone. So friends, please... just humor me. I'd do it for you.

THANK YOU

SCARLET

PS. Furthermore, sometimes the "impossible" things DO happen for people. And I know I personally am very affected by what my friends predict. Especially Elena. I think she's been dead-on RIGHT a lot, but at the same time, the second she's given any relationship I've been in or project I've done the cloud of doom, I lose faith in it, and that probably aids in the derailing, in and of itself.