Scarlet on the Couch

Ugh, I am so drained, my head is throbbing, and my throat hurts. I couldn't get out of bed til 3 pm. I went over to Lena's and sat around then finally took a shower got Maddy food and we started to get ready. I got to the show and there were FIVE people there. Three who've heard it all a million times and two randoms. It just felt like a fucking waste of time. Like, why did I bother with this. Why DO I bother with this.

Lena's such a sweetheart and came along and is going out now, to some club with this clubowner guy she likes, and I felt really bad because I knew she wanted me to come and I totally get it, didn't know if he was actually gonna be spending time with her, or just making sure she's "taken care of" like, with a friend, but I feel like hell, I hate clubs, AND I have to film tomorrow for 10 hours from 8 am... but I lucked out because it turned out her other friend could go AND then, most of all, that I know the dude.

I played his club last week. He's the one who said he loved it and gave me his card and sort of him on me. Hah. So I told Lena. But that it was no big deal, but we just thought it was funny, and then she thought my coming would be awkward anyway, BUT I told her to tell her I know him so that he knows there's like, FRIENDS around. That he can't fuck around. That's so important when you're new in these big cities by yourself. Protection.

So I'm the hook for that and she's excited because I said he's cute. He is. God I love Lena. I can't believe she's across the hall. I ran into my DJ neighbor Tony too and he's cool too-- he's gonna come to my next one. He's a solid guy. A few really great neighbors- everyone else: creepy.

I think these French girls I thought were so cool are fucking weird. Well- not the French girls, not the actress or her friend, but the one that was getting really chummy with me and all of a sudden dropped off the face of the earth and now put stuff up on her facebook of like birthday plans she didn't invite me to with the other girl...? Why? I should've figured. 38 and living that way... I dunno... like Elena...

It sucks though.

I have swollen lymph nodes.

I am really quite crushed about Julian.

And mad, and sad too, but at least the good thing is, I do not even have any urge to write him. It just seems stupid.