Oh, I wanna write, and I wanna read, and I need it and I need it and I just don't have the energy when I have time..... It's still so hard all the time, it's still just so hard, it feels nothing changes even when everything changes and I'm just kind of a buoy that bobs up, down and slightly over then back, taken with the tide, drifting and floating and occasionally getting rushed.
I've been working and slacking and spending a lot of time with C which is great, but still, oh still. It's just so hard all the time, it's still just so hard..
And it's harder and harder to write too when I haven't been. I'm almost feeling the same way, with the blog, as I do with all those wonderful "friends" that slipped away in the last year and a half... like it's my fault for not keeping up enough and therefore of course they won't care about me anymore. It doesn't matter.
Well I'm still here. You can't expect everything to change all at once. You will have the good periods and the bad, but hopefully the good times are longer and the bad, will they don't hurt so much.
ReplyDeleteFriendship, like blogging, shouldn't be a chore. Do it when you have the time and people, if they are adults and have lives of their own, will accept it when you pop back in. Stop trying to be perfect at everything and just do what you need to do.
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