Prelude to Uh...

Mmmh, sunshine lollipops.

I told him about my productive week, and that I followed his rules about drinking.

We talked about that some.

I brought up Cam again, and he said, again, Cam is the.. frustrated genius who can't get his genius to manifest? Hah, yup, I told him, he tries to be observant, he laughed, Tries to be observant. I elaborated, I rambled a little, he was like, so... wait why did you bring this up? (HAH) I said Oh, I just wanted to complain... He nodded, Right, uh-huh, and then I said, Well, part of me feels like I should be involved with him... I looked at him, he was looking at me, lipbit, browraised, Because, you know, he's like my age and in my industry and... And it sounds like he's hardworking? Yeah! And like he means well? Yes, yes, definitely... ... ...

His feet were close to me and I touched them with mine a bunch of times. And he played with his hair a lot.

And it one point I was looking at his socks and pants and I said, Is that blue and blue? And he said Mmm-hmm. And I said, looking at his shoes, and black. And he said Mmm-hmm. And I said looking at him from top to bottom, feet to hair, Black and blue and blue and white and blue and black. And he said, Mmm-hmm.

And then, I didn't even know where I was going with it, but I told him about Carly and her sister, and I started talking about the dreams and I kept stopping and I just wanted to tell him really but I ended up saying, that, Well all the dreams... can be consuming...

How are they consuming?

It's just, I don't know, I sort of, feel like I live in this fantasy world, I'm always in it, and, it takes me so long to do anything, it's hard to get all these things done that's another reason, because, I'm always in these dreams and thoughts, and I just feel disconnected from reality, often...

And he nodded and paused and did this incredible thing with sweeping his hair out of his eyes and said, Well, I think, I mean I could be- I'm not sure I'm following exactly, but, I think, with people that have very active fantasy lives, they end up sort of, just waiting for it to come true... instead of... Well... It's like, well, I'm not sure what the fantasy IS, you haven't described anything specific, I don't know what the GOAL is...

And I sort of giggled... He was looking away the whole time and didn't look over at me but sort of slightly smiled, and kept going,

But it's important to, whatever the fantasy is, regardless of whether it's... going to happen, just to be present and that... even if it's not happening, right NOW, you're still in... right now, and be mindful of that moment...

I try.

And you're able to, push through, and get things done.

Yes, slowly...

So then, the clock ran out, I looked back it, I felt sort of frustrated, he told what the co-pay was, that all the May sessions were covered... and there was just a co-pay...

I started writing the check and he gave me a pen and he was standing and then he sat back down in front of me, and said, I like your CD...

I sort of beamed, Oh!

I listened to it once, I couldn't listen to it very carefully, because I was doing other things... but, was the first one also the Gipsy Kings?

No, it's Paco de Lucia.

Oh, and he walked over next to me to his CD player and pressed play.

I slid my way up onto the arm of the couch, writing at like 3 letters per minute on the check, Did you translate the Spanish?

No, I couldn't pay attention to the words, what are they?

Well... I only know them... phonetically, like, here-- he turned it up-- You have to fast forward a bunch to get to the words...

Oh, I can't, on this thing...

Oh, oh wait let me see-- I stood up next to him in front of it-- Did you try holding it down?

No, and I held it down, and it started fast-forwarding, and I smiled, and he said, Oh, well, I guess I can... and I waited til I heard the singing, and he said Ok there, and he reached in, and I let go a little late, and it was halfway through the words, and then I rewound, and he said Ok! And I stopped it, and he turned it up again, and we stood there... and he walked back to his desk and kind of paced...

And he said, I think he's saying... and he said something beautiful in Spanish that I can't remember exactly but it sounded so good and I said,

Oh! That sounds exactly like it!

And he laughed, and we talked a little about the Spanish "r" and he kept pacing and he was totally kind of nervous and I was almost shaking a little, even though I was totally in Come-On mode, I was wearing this sort of garter type thing I make with the top elastic of thigh-highs, I just cut it off of them when they get ripped and wear it by itself, under shorts or something, just one, and I played with it a little... and he was walking back and forth, and I finally gave him the check, and sort of lingered, but he retracted his hand like lightning again, hah, and went back over to his desk and sort of half sat on it, and I told him I would find the words and he said, Ok, good! And then we talked about the Gipsy Kings and he said, Well, I mean he is kind of similar, right?

And I said, yeah, but, they're a lot more pop-

Okay, I know you have a more refined ear than I do, but-

I said No, no, it's a similar style-

In Spain there is that musical tradition-

It's flamenco guitar, I remember my dad playing it-

Oh! Really?

From when I was like four-

Oh,

But I mean Gipsy Kings...

Are from France right?

Like- between-

The Basque region...

Yeah, but...

It is in-

They have like a cover of Hotel California, I mean-

Oh, really?

Yeah! And like, I Did it My Way, that...

Oh right, A Mi Manera...

Yes. Just like that. Can you say that again?

:::full-on blush::: What? A Mi- ::too self-conscious. Laughs::

Oh here's your-

Thank you- ::again, with the hand retraction:: So I'll see you on Friday.

Yes.