Thursday, June 10, 2010

yes, this again

There is something REALLY tough about making myself go sometimes. I'm not alone in this, I've discussed with Hunter, she said the same: Sometimes I actually drive all the way here and turn around.

Actually last time I went into work I had a shot (or three) of Jack before I made it out the door...

Enough.

I was filming all day yesterday... It was weird, PLAYING a stripper... All done up and made up and in someone else's gear, saying someone else's words and everyone so respectful, and cool, and put together... I can't even imagine dancing right now. To the same stupid songs. I'm a FUCKING BALLERINA. I'm not any of it. I'm not a ballerina, or a musician, or a writer, or an actor, or a student of anything, I just pick things up and drop them. But... I have to fucking just go right now. Does anyone else struggle with this daily? To do absolutely anything? I wanna run or do my yoga tape... OMG Scarlet FUCKING GO. You said you'd go every day, what is the big deal. WHAT is the big DEAL. It is the easiest fucking job in the world. Just goooooo.

Oh! Vinnie called me. Perfect. Going.

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