short update

short posts cuz i only got time when he's takin the dog out for a pee and im being surreptitious, on Private Browsing

felt sour earlier... he wouldnt even buy me sunglasses... kept talking about his client M---- huge superstar involved in scandal with lady of my ethnic background and musician whose music is very similar to mine about how she sucked and was a whore and wants his money, and kept saying how women blablabla and he wouldnt wanna just buy them stuff.... implied he wouldnt be me a cheapass 12 dollar pair of sunglasses and he's a zillionaire who doesnt work.

i, not even totally deliberately, started acting real glum.

so then he bought me $200 swimwear.

haha.

and now we're going to the ocean.

feeling a little better.

be home later.

xxxx

F.

Heartraced again, bank account viewage... Like, I HAVE to work tonight, I mean, I won't be able to tomorrow or the day after, but I have for the last 3 nights except for that stupid wedding night, and all I've been doing is working and panicking, and I feel like I should do something nice for myself, but, I mean, it's like I slacked off forever but now I'm just machinegunned and I'll burn out even worse so. Ohgod. My heart is RACED to Allah right now. If I just go to work I won't be heartraced, just super burnt out, if I drive out to the beach, well, I dunno if I'll even be able to relax, oh man oh manny oh manny.