DRUG LABEL: WARNING: Do not feed the animals.

It's so tempting to go purchase and ingest a large quantity of drugs right now.

So tempting yet not tempting at all.

That's what I've been doing, for the past couple weeks, if we're gonna call a spade a spade here.

I don't even like drugs of any kind. I just didn't know what else to do with myself. Horrific timing as always, making the noggin' null and void right before a bargeful of shows, the onslaught of school, right at the very moment in life to buck the fuck up, right when right now truly calls from some grace...

Right at the moment I'm drooling over a cigarette typing in tongues.

Ugh.

Gross.

But, no one has to know about this, because I kept my own personal ass pretty much entirely in the doma. No Sid to my fucking Nancy.

The headmath just kinda went something like this-- "Well," it went, "Well! You're not gonna be able to talk to him for a few months, and this is gonna put you out for at least a day or two..."

Wrong.

The stuff, well first of all it made me write him. Like, the Devil LITERALLY made me do it.

And it made me sit and think and wank and cry about him all by my lonesome for COUNTLESS fucking hours...

And then the Killyourself factor significantly spiked, when it wore off.

And it's not even fun.

Who LIKES that shit???

And now, here I am, 80 bucks leaner, two-weeks older, none-the-wiser, and really, no closer to the expiry date of Significant Time passage as I HAVE been communicating, and rather hysterically, at that.

Well. All very good for the art. But seriously. No more. Totally gross. Ugh.

Hacked.

My regular e-mail account's gone to the dogs.

Yesterday a friend, that I kinda rarely e-mail wrote me telling me he got a strange e-mail from me with a link, and then I got a bunch of delivery failure messages and looked in my outbox to see that every account on there had been e-mailed some weird shit and then my phone beeped me to re-enter my password because my log-in credentials failed. So I tried to fix it and gmail told me my account had been disabled so I wrote them all about it, hopefully they'll straighten it out soon.

It's fitting, because I hacked my own body the last few days. I feel like kind of a jackass. I don't know why but on Monday I called my pill dealer friend and grabbed a bunch of those Vicodins. I really don't know why. So I was taking them and drinking yesterday and the day before, and they were really gross, and I couldn't sleep or eat, and I didn't go to class, and I went to meet an old friend and was just in a crap mood, but I just felt like I had to finish them. So today I feel like straight ASS. My nose is all runny and I'm exhausted and a bit achy, but mostly exhausted, like I have a fever. I don't get how people can do this crap, to me it just seems like the only thing good about them is that they reset you kind of... back to basics:

Ya think life is good now? Imagine it if you weren't irritable and confused and fu33y and you could keep your eyes open for more than 30 seconds and could finish a sentence and didn't have to throw up every half an hour!!! Well all that could be yours for the incredible price of NONE of your goddamn money!!!

Hah.