playboy

i could not sleep last night
sigh
it's okay
i was writing a lot... music and stuff.

so the playboy meeting was kinda awesome. the agent was actually way cooler than i expected, we talked about the midwest, and the industry changing, and career plans.

they loved me basically.

but now i don't know. when you start out you're not a Month or a centerfold... just a bunny chick. and it pays SHOCKINGLY little. like any regular magazine shoot... and he told me I'd have to cover up my tats, unless I wanted to do the web thing, and I don't, and to gain 5 pounds-- which would normally be a piece of CAKE-- but right now seems impossible...

And it's so public. It's playboy. and it's not like being a centerfold when you're some famous person. and now everything's on the web forever.

so I don't know, I told him that and he understood... and they have me on file, and to give him a call whenever I decide.

I'm going to just get up now I guess, bone-weary as I am, jog to the gym, meet Celine and take a couple classes that will probably kill my malnourished ass. Then come home, pass out for a bit, and go to work.

That's the plan, Stan.