Heat Wave

I can't take this heat anymore.
I've been basically asleep for 3 days. I was exhausted. Emotionally exhausted. And the painkillers. And all the work. All the intensity with Julian.
But no-- what it's really been-- is the 113 degree heat and the unairconditioned apartment and the only possible way to get through this misery is to sleep through it.
My muscles again feel atrophied from lack of exercise and I missed a class again.

My friend just said something funny about the blog:
"It really is so precise in its emotion.
You're not wearing much, because there is a heat wave and you're in heat and he's in heat.
It's all so hot."

Hahahahaha.

It can't sustain. Ughhhhhhhh. Please god make it stop now.

Urg.

Ok. I'm starting to get a little... need some space with this cool neighbor thing... she's still really great, no change in that, it's just she wanted me to take her running yesterday, so I did, and I realize- I really want to fucking BE ALONE when I run. And to the yoga class at the gym today. And I ended up paying for her membership. And to work tonight. And honestly, she's fine at work, but I kinda don't like being friends with anyone at work... And she hasn't gone in by herself yet, and she suggested it, and said, Oh, I'll just go in at 10 o clock. Oh let me just have Vinnie's number and I'll call him. And I'm like... Ugh... please don't just go in at 10 o clock. That's not the time you're supposed to go in, I'LL fucking get shit for it, I know I do it, but like, you've gone in ONCE. Vinnie made a joke- Don't teach her bad habits, I don't need another Casper! Like, it's TOO FUCKING MUCH. TOO FUCKING MUCH. She never has cigarettes, and she doesn't have a car, and it's just like, her friend Dan brought me a keyboard, and they took photos of my show, and she's come to two, so it's not like it's not reciprocated, it's just a little too much. It's just too many aspects of my life being shared right now. I wanted to go to the gym when I felt like it, and swim, and take a class, and then she was like You have to take me to the gym today, I have to work out before this shoot (which was a bullshit modeling job, not even real, and I knew it as soon as she told me about it, the guy was chatting with her on Skype, and talking about a contract, and all kinds of unrealistic unprofessional BS, but I didn't want to burst her bubble too much. But then she wasn't ready, and we got there and spent 20 minutes figuring out her membership, and then after the class she was texting with the guy, and stressing, and I just wanted to get out of there.

It was not the way I wanted to decompress.

In fact I'm more irritable now then before. And now it's like I can't just go into work whenever I want. And I'm stressed about it. Ugh.

Ugh.

Ugh.

I REALLY like my privacy and my independence. I had it made with the club. I don't like this.

37.2 C le Matin

It's getting really hot here, it's a heatwave, and there's no crossbreeze and it never lets up and I've been sort of sick or something for ages now and it might be the heat. And it's humid too.

It feels like India.

I've been to India.

And I have no A/C.

My show on Tuesday was awesome, though I felt like I was sick and dying, it went really awesome cuz Lena's friend brought an awesome keyboard, and there was a big crowd, and it was taped, and a bunch of people were there I didn't expect...

.........................................................................................................................

I had all these weird dreams.

1. Naima was being really weird I was stopping at her house to pick up my stuff and trying to explain to her why she was being weird, and wrap all these packages into one box...

2. Her house was atop these weird hills like a video game, I was driving around it.

3. Some reality show and it was about these three golddigger girls that just wanted to be rich and Naima was complaining to me she'd been having a hard time because one of them moved into the rich kid's apartment next to her and was having the whole thing expanded and there was construction all the time.

4. We were at a pool party and they thought I was going to be at my old friend from grade school's birthday instead.

5. We went to see a concert, and the band was this guy and girl who always dressed in like, Louis XIV style full royal court clothes....

P.S. This blog title is the original French title of one of my favorite movies, Betty Blue, which is also the name of the potential love interest of the ever captivating and heartthrobbed Tuesday Kid.


It also just really is that hot.