And I've chilled out a little. I ran my 7 miles. And I did yoga, at home. I'm not sure what compelled me to do these things but- oh yes- because I HAVE to tire my limbs out or I'm tossing and turning painfully at night. I barely slept 2 hours last night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. These chemical ups and downs. Everything seems hopeless and sad and impossible. I know it isn't. I know it's just a feeling make it seem that way. But what isn't just a feeling is the loneliness. I am so utterly alone.
Vinnie called me just now probably wants me to work and I won't because I don't need to and I'll lose my mind if I don't sleep and catch up on school. But yeah. Nobody calls anymore. Not just to hear your voice. I'm crying so bad. It's so bad out here. I don't know what to do anymore.
Showing posts with label getting lost. Show all posts
Showing posts with label getting lost. Show all posts
Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
But she still refuses to get GPS.
I was racing around all day, headthrobbed, and I still missed my second class! Like, what the F?
I just look down and stare at my shoelaces for 45 minutes. Seriously.
Luckily I'm such a suck-up my attendance is usually excused, but man, it makes me feel like a mess, that I did that, I've missed like half my classes already, and I have the DREADED psych class tomorrow. I'm sitting in the BACK. Oh, that stupid extra credit too. F that. It's just too stupid, and peanut-headed, it's practically against my principles.
I was on the phone with an old gf from KINDERGARTEN just now; she's amazing and incredibly funny but it was two hours and my head started really throbbing, I can't do the phone sometimes, I'm becoming just Lord of the Flies over here. What was I thinking about just now. Oh yes. I drove back ("back") from this meeting and went a little the wrong way spacing out to Vivaldi and giving change to freeway bums and stopped at a Starbucks and finished this 8-letter to my first love who's currently in prison (sigh) and then ended up-- I was about 3 miles from home-- driving like 9 different freeways for 45 minutes and missing the class. I missed the merge and the exit and the street and the exit and the merge and the merge...
HELP. Really.
Love and "Lie to Me" by Jonny Lang
Scarlet-O
I just look down and stare at my shoelaces for 45 minutes. Seriously.
Luckily I'm such a suck-up my attendance is usually excused, but man, it makes me feel like a mess, that I did that, I've missed like half my classes already, and I have the DREADED psych class tomorrow. I'm sitting in the BACK. Oh, that stupid extra credit too. F that. It's just too stupid, and peanut-headed, it's practically against my principles.
I was on the phone with an old gf from KINDERGARTEN just now; she's amazing and incredibly funny but it was two hours and my head started really throbbing, I can't do the phone sometimes, I'm becoming just Lord of the Flies over here. What was I thinking about just now. Oh yes. I drove back ("back") from this meeting and went a little the wrong way spacing out to Vivaldi and giving change to freeway bums and stopped at a Starbucks and finished this 8-letter to my first love who's currently in prison (sigh) and then ended up-- I was about 3 miles from home-- driving like 9 different freeways for 45 minutes and missing the class. I missed the merge and the exit and the street and the exit and the merge and the merge...
HELP. Really.
Love and "Lie to Me" by Jonny Lang
Scarlet-O
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