And I've chilled out a little. I ran my 7 miles. And I did yoga, at home. I'm not sure what compelled me to do these things but- oh yes- because I HAVE to tire my limbs out or I'm tossing and turning painfully at night. I barely slept 2 hours last night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. These chemical ups and downs. Everything seems hopeless and sad and impossible. I know it isn't. I know it's just a feeling make it seem that way. But what isn't just a feeling is the loneliness. I am so utterly alone.
Vinnie called me just now probably wants me to work and I won't because I don't need to and I'll lose my mind if I don't sleep and catch up on school. But yeah. Nobody calls anymore. Not just to hear your voice. I'm crying so bad. It's so bad out here. I don't know what to do anymore.