Monday, April 26, 2010

Man! Okay. F' anyone who doesn't like it. This is what I'm gonna talk about, cu3 I'm a no-life-having, idiot loser anyway, and I have nothing else to talk about.

I deleted a bunch of recent posts about Julian, wherein I was deluding myself yet again into believing he saw me as something more than a mild irritant, easily-treatable. And of course, the normal people out there, despite the handicap of only reading my skewed perception of things, saw how deluded I was, and gave me a gentle reminder, which made me reali3e what a pathetic idiot actually am, which is good, because we can't forget that too often and get ahead of ourselves. But what they said was basically a whole list of reasons I was starting to become pretty damn sure that he is actually interested in me. And the PROBLEM IS:

When I think about that list, I start to become completely deluded again! And need to be smacked in the face, kicked in the head, and knocked back down to fucking si3e. BECAUSE HOW COULD AN UGLY PATHETIC TALENTLESS HACK FRIENDLESS STRIPPER WHORE actually think somebody like that would think well of her? I mean it's just so ridiculous I probably REALLY do need psychiatric treatment... HEY! I GOT IT!

I KNOW WHY HE'S PUSHING MY INSURANCE TO APPROVE ALL THOSE SESSIONS... Because he reali3es I have this crush on him, and think I might have a chance in hell with him, and thus reali3es I'm so fucking CRACKED in the head I might blow up an airport or something.



  1. Breathe, girl. Who you been listening to anyway?

  2. anyone who cares, and at this point, that's pretty much no one, but anyone who at least indulged me enough to seem to care.

  3. just play it out and see what happens. You always think less of yourself than anyone else sees.