Wednesday, August 11, 2010


i could not sleep last night
it's okay
i was writing a lot... music and stuff.

so the playboy meeting was kinda awesome. the agent was actually way cooler than i expected, we talked about the midwest, and the industry changing, and career plans.

they loved me basically.

but now i don't know. when you start out you're not a Month or a centerfold... just a bunny chick. and it pays SHOCKINGLY little. like any regular magazine shoot... and he told me I'd have to cover up my tats, unless I wanted to do the web thing, and I don't, and to gain 5 pounds-- which would normally be a piece of CAKE-- but right now seems impossible...

And it's so public. It's playboy. and it's not like being a centerfold when you're some famous person. and now everything's on the web forever.

so I don't know, I told him that and he understood... and they have me on file, and to give him a call whenever I decide.

I'm going to just get up now I guess, bone-weary as I am, jog to the gym, meet Celine and take a couple classes that will probably kill my malnourished ass. Then come home, pass out for a bit, and go to work.

That's the plan, Stan.


  1. This sounds like something that you'd probably regret later. Usually if one has hesitations about something, they're more right than one wants to acknowledge. I think if you worked for them, it would alter your view of yourself slowly and subtly and you wouldn't like what you were in the end. But that's just my opinion.

  2. Depending on your career goals ks is probably right, if this isn't really part of your career path I'd say don't. But if HE is saying gain 5 pounds perhaps you should add a pizzas to that list of things to do ;).

  3. I agree--if you're not sure about it or excited about it, it's probably not something you should do. Give yourself some time--like you said it's only $500 and if you change your mind, they have you on file.

    If you do it and change your mind, then you've got a problem.