Oh, I wanna write, and I wanna read, and I need it and I need it and I just don't have the energy when I have time..... It's still so hard all the time, it's still just so hard, it feels nothing changes even when everything changes and I'm just kind of a buoy that bobs up, down and slightly over then back, taken with the tide, drifting and floating and occasionally getting rushed.
I've been working and slacking and spending a lot of time with C which is great, but still, oh still. It's just so hard all the time, it's still just so hard..
And it's harder and harder to write too when I haven't been. I'm almost feeling the same way, with the blog, as I do with all those wonderful "friends" that slipped away in the last year and a half... like it's my fault for not keeping up enough and therefore of course they won't care about me anymore. It doesn't matter.