Monday, November 22, 2010

a pain in the buttbones.

Soooo, we've all been away for a while it seems. Falltime. Always busy for every bee.

My bed is crap. It's shite. I slept on the floor last night, and I feel okay for the first time in... months?

I'm the opposite of a hypochondriac; I just ignore shit 'til it goes away; I'm never sick (well I'm sick sometimes... but its almost always just the direct cause of drug or alcohol withdrawal... hahaha) and I've never had any conditions or anything (hear no see no speak no jinx). So I've actually had mad pain of the Buttbone for like, months, it hurts when I'm sitting down, after like 20 minutes... I have to stand up or shift around-- it REALLY hurts. Like a mother. And I've been saying in the Buttbone, cuz I couldn't really tell what the fuck it was. And I just assumed it was from taking vicoshit or some kind of muscular overuse from dancing or running like a maniac or a wrong move in yoga....

And then C one day after sleeping in my bed was like... Now I have that thing too... the pain in the buttbone, haha, and I've never had it before... I think it's your BED...

So... I laid down that night... and realized it hurt like a snatch cuz the PoS it so saggy and droopy my whole butt just droops down into the center. And like... I wasn't sure WHY that made it hurt but it seemed like it FN did. And after some extensive google searching, I found the exist fucking symptoms, and its called piniformis syndrome and its a pain in the buttbone, a gluteal glitch, said it happens to athletes and its caused by forward moving sports because the legs move in the direction so much those muscles hypertrophy and make other muscles around them asymmetrically weak (and I fucking was always saying my buttmuscle is hypertrophied if anyone remembers cuz of the ghetto booty and the pain in the buttbone and I thought I made that word up, like, it was a joke) and my BED, makes my legs just go forward all the time like I'm SKIING cuz my BUTT is sunk 3 feet lower than my knees!! Eureeeka!!! and THEN it said it was hard to treat a certain way cuz the piniformis is such a deep muscle (and THATS why it feels like its in the BONES.) So obviously my bed-- is shit. Its a hammock. A hamstrungout hammock, that fucks the hamstrings, and causes piniformis syndrome, which I'm godsworn I had. GODSWORN.

And some people go to like PHYSICAL THERAPY over this and take BOTOX injections locally to relax their buttbone and some even go to FN surgery, but like I'm just stretching and sitting differently and conscious of my buttbones being tight and deliberately relaxing them cuz I'm not retarded, and I can do that, so it's going away.


I CANNOT afford a new mattress.


  1. I'm pretty sure my sleeping pattern causes me to have the same thing I better learn to stretch out more cause my back is killing me today.

  2. before you try anything drastic you could try chiropractic. It took me a while to find the right chick, but she knows lots abotu women's things and she fixed that problem I had with my tailbone when I was pregnant.
    Also, I don't know if yours does this, but the Salvation Army here refurbishes matresses and sells them for pretty cheap. Might fix the problem for a while. Or you could take your matress off of the bed frame and box spring and sleep on it that way. I did that for a while too.

  3. This was an unintentionally funny post, because even though I'm sorry you're in pain and that sucks because new mattresses cost, like, hundreds of dollars, you kept saying Buttbone, and really, at heart, I'm a thirteen year old boy.

    Sorry. But it's still a little funny.

    Heal quick, girl! Miles to go before you sleep (in a good bed.)