Monday, February 1, 2010

Spread Thin, Stoked, Stormy

I know I haven't been writing as much, and reading as much, of your blogs, I just, I haven't had time, and, I've been writing letters to people... and writing a lot of music, and recording, and I can't sleep so I'm never awake, and I drink like a fish at work and I'm gonna cry even though I'm stoked... I have a showcase for a record label just last minute on Wednesday and I have to learn all my shit down and like I don't have time, I also had to finish my column for the paper today when it was due on Sunday. And school is starting, and working, school's starting in a week, and on the same day, my ex fiance is coming HERE. I haven't seen him in more than year. He didn't wanna move here. He used to be a rockstar, but I dunno blew it off, cuz he's, like that... but he's the funniest, most magical sexbomb person and I can't, I haven't even thought about what happened... But I sent him my tracks and he said it was good. And don't add anything to it, like drums or bass or whatever, it'll just mess it up. And he's right. And he gave me advice. And he's letting me cover a couple of his songs. His songs. Are genius. He has the sexiest, toughest, most beautiful voice in the world. And God I love him, but, he was, ugh... I don't want to think about it. It's too much right now. But I'm not gonna revert to how I was with when I was with him... all the growth, I'm not gonna regress, so I'm not gonna start telling him I love him and stuff because that's not fair and I need to just hold it back and be mature about it.

I see Julian tomorrow. I'm gonna tell him thank you. He deserves it.


  1. Oh dear, you and I have more in common than I realized. I'm fairly certain I could have written that last section (and probably have) about trying not to revert or regress back to the way I was with my ex...and shortly after. It ended rather badly but we have since reconnected...multiple times (we're on haitus right now--his girlfriend doesn't approve of me...). Every time he pops back into my life though, all those feelings come back. It's very hard to control.

    He also has an incredibly sexy voice--and I'm a sucker for a good voice!

    Good luck!

  2. Made it through January and excited to read the whole year! I hope I can get at least until the summer before I get off work. I cant even log in at home. I too am on the DL and cant let my husband see this on my computer history as he may stumble upon my blog...that would be bad.