I really need to just buck up and buy some real internet... It hasn't been working probably 75% of the time for the last week, and more than half over the entire last month... it worked for like 4 months perfectly...
So I'm sitting here at the Sbux online, blogging and doing homework, and I'm cold, and I'm so, so, exhausted, and I have to pee...
I ran six miles today, and walked back two more from where I ran... I've been ruminating a bunch... but also productive. I dunno. I'm shocked at that e-mail I sent. Clips:
"... it is a pressing matter, now, a matter of pressing up against myself, now.."
..."can I see what did that test say again can you show it tome please can you sit here please can I see it and can you sit next tome and can I sit over here now and can I sit on your lap too? in yourlap? on your lap? Omg, *PLEASE*?..."
"...anywhere in a bar or on a roof or we know how we feel about cars but I can think of worse ways to spend my time than trembling and screaming in Julian's Jag or really I can't think of a better way actually, I can't..."
"...I can't wait to see you though I don't want to see you in the middle of your day, no, not only the middle of yourday, outer limits too please, first thing in the morning or last thing at night, and twilight, and in the rain, and in the sun, and Allah youare so beautiful whenever you open that door my heart just drops downinto my shoes, I hate wearing shoes, I hate wearing shoes..."
"...that's if I can make eye-contact, which is difficult sometimes, because see, in my head, it's perpetually "the morning after." I want to um, justify that..."
Yeah. Yup. Yeah.