Whenever I come upon a little decision tree, a selection of beautiful boughs to climb, instead of the barren stark crumbling trunk extended shaky up into foreverness, and I'm happy to see them but overwhelmed and unable to choose, an overzealous lumberjack enters the picture and makes my decision for me and I plummet to the ground and knock out a tooth.
Well that happened.
I was excited about this weekend and seeing my friend, and more so when Emily invited me/us to this show, and the guy from the Vons invited me to a swanky party and turned out to be really cool, and my boss called and actually really wanted me to come to work, and I really had to because I need money, and Kostya was around to record and I really wanted to because I haven't in ages. And I didn't know what to do, and then Friday night my tooth exploded.
It hurt so bad I had to find a walk-in dentist open Saturday morning. And after like the third sleepless night, half-delirious, I walked there, and practically fell asleep in the chair, and couldn't even bite down for the X-rays because it hurt so much. And then a cocky young dentist came in and told me my tooth was infected, the one on which I already had a root canal done, like I thought, like, excuse me how can the hurt? Doesn't it NOT have a nerve? But he didn't answer that, he just told me I could either get the crown removed and redone, or the tooth removed and replaced with an implant, and then went on to tell me I should get my wisdom teeth pulled, and that I had a cavity, as I was like OK I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW. WHAT WILL THIS COST. HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE FOR THE PAIN TO GO AWAY. WHICH SHOULD I DO. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE, NO, NOT IN THE PROCEDURE, IN WHAT IT MEANS FOR ME, PAIN AND COST-WISE AND RECOVERY TIME-- and he wouldn't ANSWER it was like he didn't even hear me, he started answering about how long the implant nonsense would take and was like Well first you have to wait 5 months for- and I was like OK. Nevermind. And he just kept going until he was done. UGH.
So I ended up doing nothing and now I'm popping Vicodin like Dr. House.
I couldn't even watch Dr. House, speaking of him, last night, because I was so messed up.
So now I did nothing and I feel really on edge... besides the pain... all the Vicodin, and having done nothing, and feeling like I messed everything up, and I have an expensive dental surgery with a bonafide a-hole that I can't afford and maybe no job and no friends and two tests and I won't see John for another bunch of years or get to meet all these people at this party. And I'm really fat again.
Love and losing-my-lunch,