Wednesday, March 10, 2010

he said God you're beautiful
he said We really have a strong connection, and it's unusual, and I feel it-
no you don't. I said.
he said Don't tell me what I feel.
he said Under different circumstances, at a different time...

he said, I don't think anything bad, I feel a lot of good things toward you, I don't think there's anything wrong with you!

I said I feel AWFUL. What are you going to do about it? And I was sobbing. And he said I wish that you'd wait and let me answer these questions at length, next time.

I said yeah I don't know about coming in.... But I know you have to make a call. I'm gonna let you go. I got up, my face still in my hands.

Scarlet. Please don't cancel Friday.

yeah... I said.

let me copy this for you.... It was from my insurance company, so I could call themhe gave it to me and I think I lost the thing already.... What can he say to me? What can he say to make it go away?



  1. You should go on Friday. It might bring some "closure". And, I think, the whole thing has more to do with him than it does with you. You probably aren't in the mood to think about this, but now that the whole thing has climaxed it's sort of like you climbed a wall or jumped a hurdle or crossed a bridge. You had a lot of pent up emotion over him...
    Don't give up on yourself.

  2. Thanks K... I will go tomorrow. I have to... it will bring closure, if not a whole new perspective, and it is like that, like I jumped a hurdle, I guess something tough I knew was coming and made it to the other side, but what's on this side?? And how does it have more to with him... I'm the one who dreamt it all up... possibly used him and my feelings for him as another way to coast through a tough time... I dunno I dunno I dunno...