I wrote A------ the author I love who I met a little while ago at the reading just now. Cuz it's his book that made my life go like it did. The one of his I read about, well it was this totally similar situation to what I've been going through.
At the reading he told me he'd considered different endings... So I just wrote him to see if he still has them if he could send me one cuz my life needs to imitate it... So's he said he's gonna look for them though they're not good, which is why he didn't choose them, and I said I know the shape he chose was the most beautiful and it might be the most beautiful lifeshape for me too but there are some differences that change some things... but yeah... hopefully he can help me.