Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Realization.

His story was about. This girl. That left, because she couldn't deal with her feelings. And just stopped talking to him. And how much that hurt. It didn't have that much to do with me and him. He ended it by saying, And I feel that kind of pain from you. As if that was the point. But he knew I'd be like. That's WEAK. That's cowardice. I would never do that.

When I threaten to leave, I'm seeing red. How much he's hurting me. How much time I've wasted. And whatever he says, I take it as a blow, because he's not saying, Don't. Even when he said Don't. You can't. We need to discuss it in a final session if that's what you want.

But he can't say Don't. He has no control over it. He can't say anything, and if I want to leave, he can't stop me, and he can't tell me it's unfair, to him, or that it would hurt him, or even that he doesn't want me to.

That's why he told me that story. So I'd realize that. How much it would hurt.

I'm so sad right now. I'm going to be sick.

This is just... fucked.

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