Saturday, September 25, 2010

Re: possible article for Heights winter issue?


hah! about surviving in hollywood?? oh i'd love to!!

i have a lot of things to plug........ i started writing new music on the piano (mostly because i became a shut-in and didnt speak to anyone about anything) last winter and started playing out and now (next week actually!) i'm recording an album w the producer from C----------!!! ... and then me and p, my friend whose company that investment was far, are filming this show in like a month in nashville, that im co creating with him, acting in, he's directing- and they're both like, just ideal, like there is no one else i could think of that id trust with the material, both projects are really personal so i'm trusting them with my heart too and i havent had ANYTHING, ANY work, ANY connection, any HOPE--- for like a year and a half-- for almost the whole time i've been out here. so it's FINALLY....

i have a lot to say on it too, one thing being that this whole experience made me realize that i never wanted this thing i thought i wanted, fame, and money, and being seen as "successful" in others' eyes at the cost of spending time with people i cant stand, kissing asses, being fake, and doing really stupid work i dont even enjoy, basically not feeding my soul in any way, not using my creativity or intelligence, and just not being true. i just realized that was what it was, and i do not fucking want it!

so whatever kind of success i ever get, will have to come about through things like this, individuals i really connect with, projects that are honest and real and beautiful, and mean something to me; it was never going to happen by playing a complete bullshit game- even with the big hotshot modeling agency, and all the hype, and all that stuff i thought was so important and that everyone saw as my big chance-- it wasn't going to happen, because it wasn't right for me, i wasn't right for it, "the camera doesn't lie," and i can't live in a world of lies. that's what i learned. WHEW.

well, i guess that's almost the piece in and of itself.

i'd be honored for you to publish it when it's finished.

thank you for the opportunity!

miss scarlet

ps yeah yeah of course ill add some juicy stuff and the sexy photos in addition to all this poetwax ;-)

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